Stress is not only caused by working excessively and exhausting ourselves in the process. Psychological stress is often perceived as a greater burden. In particular, reviews directed at you by other people do not lead to peace of mind. Reviews are commonplace, especially in professional life and in the workplace. This is pure stress for you and only costs valuable life energy. You can only part with it through internal reflection.
We hear reviews from people every day. Your spouse, children, neighbor, or friend tell you what they think of your decisions. The employer is one of them. Criticism is a building block that can be helpful in thinking about yourself. But it can also mutate into a tool for mental stress if you can’t handle it. It’s not uncommon for employees to feel personally attacked when the boss points out that the work was rudimentary. Often there is no difference that only the work carried out was reprimanded. The employees perceive this criticism as a personal attack.
Do you think your boss doesn’t like you or has something against you? If you think and feel this, the working day is a black day for you again. Even after work, they are unspeakably angry about this criticism. This night can be marked by insomnia because the thoughts just cannot calm down.
Even among colleagues, there is strong judgment and blasphemy. The typical formation of small groups in a team says who is on which side. It almost sounds like it’s a war-like state. If you get caught in the crossfire of a group or a colleague, it is difficult. Because from now on, almost every move you make will be evaluated. That doesn’t contribute to a relaxed way of working. Who would like to hear that it takes them far too long to get the job done? But other motives can also play a role among colleagues, which are decisive for why you come into negative criticism.
People’s vanities cannot be ignored
Dominance, the feeling of power and strength or superiority are also attributes why you are marginalized. But how can I deal with all these mental difficulties and what solutions are there for these problems? Those who are firmly anchored in their work can sometimes no longer recognize that their workplace is just a scene—a stage for personal self-expression, power, and self-expression of the individual. Instead of suffering from coworkers’ mental hostility, it is better to understand why these attacks occur. Realize that the attacker wants to compensate for something.
A personal deficit that otherwise cannot be lived is a variant of this. For example, this could be done by someone who cannot exercise power in their family or at work, but wants to do so. Then he will take the colleague and try to exercise power over him by speaking ill of him. If you then run into the bathroom crying, you have achieved your goal. However, keeping in mind that the problem is not you but the attacker himself can help reduce this mental stress. Others, however, try to cover up their lack of expertise by referring to others who appear to be performing below average.
If you point your finger in a different direction, you won’t be suspected yourself; the mindset might be.
Whatever the case; It is important that you question things. “What kind of problem does my colleague have?” and not “What kind of problem does my colleague have with me?”.
How do I learn to reflect?
In order to reflect, it is necessary to examine a situation without immediately accepting the feelings that arise. Be factual and check the statement that was made. If the boss tells you your work was rudimentary, check it out. If that’s true, the case is over. But don’t take in the accompanying feelings that affect you personally.
You can plan to get a better quality of work in the future. However, always remember that this complaint relates only to your professional performance. This does not mean your character, appearance, or personality. If your job was excellent, you can assume the boss has a problem today. Sometimes the trouble has to get out, and you are the one who gets caught between the lines. It is important that you immediately reject the negative feelings that affect you personally. Tick the topic immediately after thinking about it. If thoughts about it come back, don’t worry.
The same applies to colleagues who attack you mentally, evaluate you, or treat you unfairly. Experience the situation and let the experience stand in the room. From the outside, look at this experience like a third person. This will help you isolate your personal feelings better. You let the negative feelings that arise regardless.
Know that the problem is not you, but your colleague. When this realization occurs, you know that these accompanying feelings do not belong to you or the situation. If you want, you can make it clear to your colleague that you will not accept the unjustified criticism. Effective gestures can also underline this decision. The flat, raised hand at chest level, reminiscent of a stop sign, can send clear signals. Up to that point, and don’t allow your words any further! For you, too, this gesture is an aspect that helps you think. For you, this means: I do not allow myself to be flooded by undifferentiated feelings.
The bird’s eye view
If you can get a bird’s eye view, it’ll be easier to tell things apart. It takes a little imagination. Because then you can perceive the situation you are experiencing as a spectator. Immediately after the negative experience, try to imagine yourself floating over the room. You look down and see everyone involved. You hear the words spoken and what attitude people take. You can see yourself too. This form of bird’s eye view can give you valuable insights.
Maybe you can see yourself standing in the corner defensively and barely saying a word. Or you can see the powerful gestures your colleagues use to line up in front of you. From a bird’s point of view, you can get rid of negative feelings faster.
Fast boosters to calm you down
Anyone who receives a bad rating from the boss or colleague can immediately feel the excitement rise. Before there’s a big discussion or even an argument, you can use a booster to calm yourself down quickly. This also includes autogenic training. There are exercises for emerging, stressful situations that can be performed quickly and almost anywhere.
In any case, try to leave the tense situation as possible in order to answer questions later. This time buffer can be used to perform relaxing breathing techniques and calm down. In addition, you can prepare yourself internally so that you will not let the negative personal feeling arise. A short exit from the room is sufficient.
If you need support to strengthen yourself mentally, you can fall back on advisors. Life coaches and mental trainers are good choices here.
The Author: El Maya
